What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

What motivated you to start reading books in English? What was the first book you read in English?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

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Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Sure no problem officer.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

HELLO

{RING} {RING}

After a few moments he returns.

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ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Yes sir it is.

Can women learn to squirt?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.